"You tell me that maybe one day I won’t need to hold myself so tightly, keep all of this love inside, be afraid of every leak and crack in my system. And maybe that’s true, and I will want to share as much as I possibly can with you. But I am not counting on it. I don’t believe it will happen, and it hasn’t yet. I would love to see you prove me wrong, but for now, I’m not waiting on anything. There is too much in me to care for, and I have only just begun to stop the bleeding."
(http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/i-only-love-myself/)
Being on my own has been wonderful in the sense of gaining independence and self-satisfaction. However, it has also helped me build these incredibly thick and tall walls to protect me from the world and consequently people too. So I guess thats what the 20's will be, figuring out a balance between the two.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
water up to my knees;
It's such a peculiar thing. I've been myself for over 22 years now. And I'm still learning new things everyday about myself. How narcissistic! I would have never categorized myself a movie buff, yet that is something that I chose to describe myself and in return how others have begun to describe me.
I guess its with this chapter of my life coming to a temporary close. Till we take a short hiatus and see the world and regroup in the fall. 5 weeks and I'm on my way back home, to introduce such a huge part of myself to people who have become my confidants in my new home, away from home. It's rather scary, will they like it, will they understand?
Looking back on the past 4 years, I don't think I could say that I would have imagined things playing out like this. My impressions of what was going on actually was somewhat disconnected from what was happening. I would like to say I wish I realised it then, but would I have still ended up where I am and making the choices that I did? I can't say for sure.
Nonetheless, the waves are rolling in. I just need to keep my strength up to keep pushing, wading deeper into the water.
I guess its with this chapter of my life coming to a temporary close. Till we take a short hiatus and see the world and regroup in the fall. 5 weeks and I'm on my way back home, to introduce such a huge part of myself to people who have become my confidants in my new home, away from home. It's rather scary, will they like it, will they understand?
Looking back on the past 4 years, I don't think I could say that I would have imagined things playing out like this. My impressions of what was going on actually was somewhat disconnected from what was happening. I would like to say I wish I realised it then, but would I have still ended up where I am and making the choices that I did? I can't say for sure.
Nonetheless, the waves are rolling in. I just need to keep my strength up to keep pushing, wading deeper into the water.
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