juvenile something

ns is less that 36 hours away. and i am so freaking screwed. haven't packed much. i'm kinda scared too. honestly, i don't know anyone at my camp. and that scares me. i wish i at least had a friend to sit on the bus with me. its easy for everyone to say, you'll make friends. but its always easier if you have a friend with you as well. its not just that fact that i'll be away for two ish months. it scares me that things probably wont be the same anymore when i come back. my friends will have new friends, i'll have new friends. they would have college, or jobs or whatever. effort has always been an issue for me. and what if i get tired of putting in that effort? then what? i guess only time will tell. i'm tired of being hurt. totally irrelevant but true. i'm tired of pretending. i'm just tired of it all. for someone who thought she loved change, why am i so scared of it too? i don't know. people change, things change, heck, i've changed.

12 days of christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
:)

christmas eve

well, as i mentioned before, the most part of the day was spent sitting around the stupid jpj office to sit for our driving exams. pretty boring. i was getting restless, if you aren't sure (or are just plain kpc) of how restless i can actually get, just ask KSM. she should be able to describe it easily. ;)

when i got home, i got a warm hug from mommy to congratulate me, and she was back to cooking. this year, christmas eve with the lim's was celebrated at our place, cause the big house host's weren't around. so mom was back to cooking and i relaxed somewhat, before helping mom finish up last minute stuff. after about an hour,our oven dies. -______________- halfway through cooking the turkey, lamb and ham. talk about speedbump. so mom was freaking out, sister was a little dazed, dad was missing, and i was just, well, there. finally after alot of freaking out and phone calls, yours truly brilliantly suggested to call jil's dad. and thank god we did. :D nonetheless, he saved christmas! (christmas miracle! ;p) we even borrowed her oven for a little while!

after that, we went into damage control and called in the troops (aunties&cousins) to help get everything set. :) thank goodness, when all the guests arrived, everything was set. though we were a teensy bit late. all in all it was a really good night, we had tons of fun. i took tons of pictures. my little cousins and nephews and nieces are so freaking funny/adorable! we had our own little under 10 wrestling match. (all though the weight diff wasn't that fair :/) better acquainted ourselves with little daniel & nicky. i love their cute little accents! ;) it was truly a great way to welcome christmas. :):):)

**pictures are to come :)

put the pedal down

first and foremost,

muahahahahahahaha.
i am officially a legal driver! :D

thank goodness i passed my driving exam,
so did KSM btw! :):):)
even though we had to wait forever and ever,
and we both got rather interesting examiners,
we passed,
and thats all that matters.
now all we gotta do is learn how to properly handle the real thing,
and auto. :)
then we're free** to wander the roads!

**withing the boundaries of selangor -_-

i'm off to ns on saturday
so don't count on me for any rides till at least april. :(
till then, jil's getting pretty good! ;)
<3

the city that never sleeps

COMING SOON

the bangkok bambino's
;)

ralfie's christmas carols

Don't laugh; what I miss most is talking to you. I imagine running into you in a busy market, even though I don't go to the market. And we decide to have lunch and we talk over margarita's; and then we walk back to where you are staying and we talk some more, and we talk in the hotel lobby and we keep talking until the moon is high in the sky and the bellhops change shifts and the night manager kicks us out.

I want to talk to you, but I don't have the slightest idea what we would say.

***

I have this thing. I don't think I talk much either. Half the time you just don't know what to say. For me anyway. So I just talk about stupid random things until something makes sense. I like how when you meet new people, you can just talk and talk because everything is new to the them and vice versa to you. Old stories stay new and thus alive. But the problem with that is, i don't have any new stories. Either that or I don't know how to put them into words. I have my automated replies to questions. I often find myself thinking of what I'm thinking about. Sometimes i think too much that i can't separate the thoughts, or I'm not thinking anything at all. (or so i think) Its all relative.

I just watched about four hours of non-stop television. Boy am I becoming a slob. NS is in less than two weeks and I am not prepared at all. Gotta start making those lists, and buy crap for camp. Gosh, all this talk about new years just makes me dread it that much more. While everyone here is having fun, partying and all that nonsense, I'll be spending it with a bunch of people I don't even know. Great. But I guess that's the point? Spend the new years with new people. Wearing ugly, icky sweat pants and baggy t-shirts while everyone else gets to pull out that little black dress. Okay, nonsensical nonsense. I'll stop now.

I just got back from Bangkok with Mom and Jue. It was great. :) I didn't really wanna leave. I like being a tourist every once in a while. When the plane land and another takes off, I always wonder where it's heading, how long people are staying. Nyeh, I wanna travel europe now. Please and thank you. YAY. The sister is coming home soon. That should be fun. We only have nine days overlapping, and I hope that we can make the most of it. I feel like i haven't seen her in ages. And honestly, i miss her. Okay, well i've got driving class in the morning with KSM, so i better go to bed. Its always better to avoid falling asleep at the wheel. ;)

you look good, so do i. we belong together.

First and foremost,

Happy Birthday Mommy! :)

thank you for always being there for me,
allowing me to scream and rant like an immature baby,
never failing to make me feel better,
nurturing the inner shopaholic in me,
always, always, always reminding me how much you love me,
and making me who I am today. :)
iloveyou

oh, and happy birthday as well to aznam, rushie, shra & k jin
:)
hope yall have great ones!

*****

yesterday was prom,
it was pretty good!
props to the committee. :)
nevertheless, as usual i didn't make the most of it,
running off at midnight,
still a little unsatisfied.
oh well, i guess i just have to keep doing it enough to finally
change this psychological thing going on that makes me like that.
suprisingly i didn't take that many pictures.
again, another factor the the dissatisfaction. :(
everyone looked absolutely gorgeous, as usual.
all the full length dresses,
i was jealous.
prom king and queen where the a's
adlan&aishah
was drooling over azwinandy from estranged
didn't manage a picture with him though :(
pictures will be up soon,
i hope :)
<3

*****

i have questions for you that i never got the chance to ask:

do you look like you did back then? would it make a difference, anyway?

do you think of me, when you least expect it -- when you're unwrapping a garden hose,
or tilting your head to the shower? and can you leave it at that, or do you find yourself
compulsively sifting through the memories?

if i had been the one to leave, would you have written out your heart to me?

kiss me, beneath the milky twilight

okay, so they have already cast bella and edward for twilight the movie. yay. not my first pick, but still pretty good choices. :)

kristen stewart as bella

and robert pattinson as edward

yes girls, it is cedric diggory

;)

mom : when people hurt you, all i wanna do is kill them

dear julie

no word can really say it better than the cupcakes (mind you, you had tons) but i really do hope that you had a super sweet sixteen. :) (not the cheesy kind like hilary duff sings about though, haha) its really been an awesome 6+ years with you and i do hope we have many more years to come. its pretty amazing how we never were really acquaintances, yet the moment we got to know each other, we were close. its amazing how fast time has flown and yet all those outstanding memories with you seem to be countless which makes all those hours, minutes and second we spent together (which is ALOT) totally worth it. :) practically out entire 'growing up' phase was spent together. and it was nevertheless awesome!

as you can see, julie can be shy. ;p believe it or not. haha. and i love posting up super old embarrassing pictures. :) btw, this was in melaka, end of the year, form two.

omg, haha. i remember loving this picture and printing it out and everything. ;) my birthday, form 1. look at how freaking young and boobless we all were. HAHA. boyy, how things have changed. :) in a good way la.

haha. you nerdy prefects you. ;) either form 1 or form 2. can't remember. ;p but look at the innocent-ness weii. :D

haha. form three. hana's birthday. jakuning with sunglasses, indoors and night. :) sheesh o, kiddos. ooh, i like your curls here. preetttyyy.

form 4, your cny open house. jump roping like little girls (plus little mo ;p). that was probably the last time i've jump roped in a super long time.

class party, form 4. we were class hopping and cam whoring. muahahaha.

yeah, i'm like jumping around the year here but oh well. genting, form three. :) cable car, waving to random strangers and laughing at plastic monkeys. :)

lena's sleepover. :) baking and tons of it with friends of course. pure awesomeness.

the first last day. heyy, thats myy giibuuraffe :) & the gorgeous haircut

haha. the day we saw ahem ahem and noticed. :) goshh, all the girly giggles are coming back to me now (HAHA. uber boyband) ;p

yeah, thats right. jue, supporting community service. this is so not a faked picture of us picking up rubbish which we actually brought ourselves and pretending to throw it into the bin but actually taking pictures for our stupid moral project thingy ma jingy. :)

the princess an hour before she turned to oh-so-aniticipated sweet sixteen. lena, recognise the tiara? ;)

cinderella with the fam :) (yeah, i keep changing her nickname)

haha. hilarious pic of the julie worshiping the huge larger than life size poster of james marsden and his noticeably prominent right on his fourth finger of his left hand. dammit.

ooh yeah, john krasinski baybehhh :)

HAHA. we look totally awesome babe. :)

hope you had a good sweet sixteen.
it was pretty darn eventful, i have to say.

next thing on the nique&jue agenda;
BANGKOK! :)

uber tons of oodles of truckloads of L.O.V.E. <3
nique bloop

you make me smile, even just for a while

i miss this
i miss the wind against my face cause i'm skating too fast
i miss the feeling like i'm flying when i attempt the axel
i miss the speed of the spins and ending them perfectly
i miss the gracefulness of the combinations in a performance
i miss this

against all odds

okalie dokalie,

here's some randoms since last monday.

i know i've been pretty lame on the blogging front,

and excuse my lack of enthusiasm.

its a phase and i don't understand why but

i have been enjoying myself this past week :)

lets just say, i'm trying to overdose on it

before i'm deprived of my civilisation for then next two and a half months

haha. drama queen. thats right. ;)

hotel paper
the first taste of cuppacakes
mr skinny snow man @ vivo

kristle yeow :)
simpsons clouds :)
ms selfridge
wedged :)

of pink and blue hair

i love this picture. i think its hilarious!

:)

to serve, to strive and not to yield

i know that today is the third, but hey, i'm in singapore. ;) so i spent my obs anniversary with some of bubu. :) it was really great seeing them. gosh, its amazing how we can just get together after an entire year of not seeing each other and let things just go back to how they were as if we never were apart. <3

***edit

so, at exactly this time last year, we were sitting around that campfire, playing murderer in the dark and then talking crap for the rest of the night until those of us who could fit into the tent did, and the rest fell asleep outside. oh, how i miss those days so. yes, its been a year. yes, i still remember it like it was yesterday.

yes, i miss it so superdy duperdy much.

yesterday, i was able to meet up with some of the bubu-ians. namely, kristle, kai xun, cleo, devar, lizzie, and shaun. it was really nice seeing all of you again. oh, how i miss you guys. i love the way its just the way it was every time we get together. and i hope it will stay that way la. haha. we had fun. :) first we went to settlers, which is this really awesome place where you just go there, eat, chat and play board games. we played all sorts. :) then we walked around and went down to orchard road to jalan jalan. we saw some cool drums performance thingy by NUS students (we think) lastly it was down to vivo where we sat outside overlooking sentosa. that was nice, just playing games and talking and watching little kids fun into fountains. lol. it was really great with you guys again. i'll try and spend more time with yall next year kay? :)

hustling around s'pore with 6 other ladies is not easy. i spent half my time in the household department. managed to buy a couple things but not much. saving the moolah for bangkok. muahaha. where the girls, outnumber the ladies. ;) anywho, while everyone is having fun and being super social, i better go sit in the corner and be all nostalgic now. its long overdue. ;p

<3