too soon;

I still remember the first day I met you, there was nothing special that happened, no words passed that I can remember but for some reason I glanced your way and noticed you. You know that moment when you're in a room of new people, new peers, you look around and try and guess who you'd end up connecting with. I may not have known you very well. But we co-existed, and sometimes that's enough.

For some reason I feel the need to say this (or rather type this) in some way, shape or form. Not for me, but for you, for your family and for your friends who knew and love you dearly. You left us too soon. In such a small class of students as our own, your presence will be missed dearly. I guess I just want you to know, you've made such a big impact in our community that will resonate with many generations of students to come. You were one of the few who saw an opportunity to make a difference and did all in your power to make it happen.

A short three years and three months ago, we started university unknowing of the friends we had yet to meet and the challenges we had yet to face. Now with graduation just months away and all of us making plans to go our separate ways, it's just not fair that the world and its people are left without you. You were the one who was going to be someone and do something special. I guess this is something we'll never really understand, it took us all by surprise, this isn't something anyone expects to have to deal with, ever. I pray for those loved ones who are trying to make sense of this all and that you have found the peace that you deserve.

RIP Devin.

#selfmotivation

It's so frustrating when you know you can do something. I mean you've done it before. And yet you can't. Something is holding you back. You can't/ or don't want to for some reason, give your all. It's my last year. Lets make it count. Lets not regret putting in those extra hours or making the ones you've already put in count. No more coasting. It's work time. Everything is lined up, just don't throw it away.

debunking YOLO;

From the Wellesley High School Commencement Speech;

"Let me point out the illogic of that statement as you can and should live not merely once but everyday of your life. Rather than "You Only Live Once" it should be "You Live Only Once". But because YLOO doesn't have the same ring you shrug and decide it doesn't matter. None of the day seizing - this YLOO should be interpreted for self indulgence. Like accolades ought to be a fulfilled life as a consequence, gratifying byproduct, it's what happens when you're thinking about more important things in life."

I've never in my life thought that I'd be able to spend this much time alone. Spending hours reading, laying in the sun, watching people. Sure I miss company, and having people to share these little moments with. But maybe this is my chance to get to know myself better. This year has been filled with a lot of growing up.

West Coast, Best Coast;

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going;

Because I think that I don't talk enough about these people who have been so instrumental in making my school life pretty darn great. (apart from grades and job prospects of course! :p) theres more people I swear! I just don't have pictures on my phone.

press refresh;

It's interesting. I've spent three years now, getting to know a great bunch of people. We've had tons of laughs, tons of love and a never ending supply of smiles. It's been a roller coaster ride that I am so thankful for everyday.

Yet, every time something bugs me or doesn't go my way, I always end up retreating, pulling away from others and criticizing every aspect of everything, thinking how much they don't fit into what I imagined my world to be. However, instead it's been an uphill battle of coming to a realization that maybe it's me who doesn't fit into their world. It wasn't them, it was me, and that's okay too. Maybe, it's time to step back, and to start moving at my own pace again.

I'm ready for a new adventure, and this time I'm not going to wait for 'Game Over' to start a 'New Game'.

young, wild and free;

I miss this. Nao please. :)

It's funny yet unfortunate how you can spend so much time with people and just wake up one day feeling like you don't know them at all.

I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart;

Yes, we are ecstatic that this whirlwind of a semester is over. The last day of the rest of our exams, it was so nice to see everyone and catch up again. :)

Haha, such classic faces. Love these girls!

 The Mathers Christmas tree. 

 Christmas dinner. :)

Bets. Oh she is so photogenic. What a model in the making!

Happy Holidays everyone, I hope this time of the year is filled with love, relaxation and spending quality time with your loved ones!

xx

because I love protege;

Yeee, I have the best mentee ever. Here's our submissions for our bi-weekly missions that have won us top 3, three times in a row! :D

so let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun;

Hello blogging world,

Yes, I don't update this place that often. Between Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and school there really are just not enough hours in a day. I do kind of enjoy that this place has become more personal too. I've managed to keep it from my other life here in Canada, not on purpose, it just hasn't come up. I'd like to keep it that way. :)

So it's exam time, so you all know what that means. It's time to update this little haven with my life (or lack thereof), my thoughts, my anything really.

I'm sure you've all heard of Coco Rocha, the super model. Well I follow her on Tumblr and I must say that I am very impressed with her character and do somewhat look up to her for more than just fashion advice. I was watching this video of her work, Letters to Haiti and it's just so inspiring!

Yes of course we can't just all pick up and go do charity work. But the thought and effort behind it was just so refreshing. It reminds me so much of our World Issues course in ICPU and the discussions that we had in class, Hear Us Out II and the EARCOS GIN Conference. So many people, just like you and me, who decided that they had enough of how things were and went out to do something about it.

It seems like I'm often just daydreaming. Leaving it at that. I don't know whats holding me back. I could say that there aren't a lot of opportunities right here where I am. But we all know that everything is what you make of it. I could say that I'm not surrounded by people who are motivated my these same kind of inspirations. Which is kind of odd, considering I'm supposed to be the money minded, strategical, make every penny count stereotype if we're judging purely by program. Maybe it's something for me to think about. Something for me to do something about.

I've also been keeping up with Project Epic back home. Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity to attend an event of theirs or volunteer with them, just cause of timing. But I definitely would love to at some point in the near future. It's so great to see young people making such an impact on communities, enabling other young people to do the same. Though Malaysia may not be the best in terms of government and what not (lets not even go there), there are so many great movements going on back home. In regards to issues that I feel more in touch with and connected to than I do here. Just sayin', it looks like the start of something really good. :)

but to live, doesn't mean you're alive;

** This was a post that I've had saved for a really long time and stumbled upon it today. It may not be relevant to what I'm thinking/going through right this moment. But I think it's worth a post. 

Going away to school really makes me appreciate the way I my parents raised me.

No, I may not have ridiculous stories of sneaking out in the middle of the night, strings of boyfriends end on end, or spending an entire weekend stoned with complete strangers. Sure, they make for interesting stories and may make you look badass as hell. But quite frankly once the initial excitement wears off, what really is left? (Of course this is strictly my point of view and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.)

My sleepovers with my best friends, going to the mall with friends, having pool parties or travelling with my family may not be the best stories of the circle. But they sure do mean the world to me. As trivial as whatever it is that we do on the weekends are, it's made me a whole lot closer to them and I know I can count on my friends and family, ten years down the road. I may not have been all badass, sex, drugs and rock and roll, but hey I'm still doing what I want and having a great time doing it.

Everything in moderation, you might want to think about that.

I'm think I'm going to try and earn at least a fraction of the freedom and everything else that my parents have given me. After all, when all this is over and done with, I want to say that I earned wherever it is that I will be, and be proud of that accomplishment. I'm not at all claiming myself to be some sort of perfect poster child, as I let loose too, I go out, and I choose the beer bottle over the books once in a while. But when it comes to crunch time, at least I give school the best shot I've got and put some effort into it.

I know, who am I to judge, who am I to say what to do. And you're right, bottom line I'm no one. Just another person, making some noise because she can. But maybe, I care, maybe I see what you don't, see all that could be if you stopped and paid just a little bit of attention. There is life after university, and maybe you should start getting ready for it.

I never want this to end;

This was just my little taste test but now the word wanderlust really does make so much more sense. Wandering into little gems like these. No wonder my travel journal is taking me eons to write. Because everytime I fill another page it takes me right back here. :) 

Vientiane, Luang Prabang, Vang Vieng; Laos 2011. <3

oh hello home, it's been a while;

So having grown up in Malaysia, I'm obviously biased. But every time I know that someone is coming to visit/ has visited this place I call home, I'm always desperate to know what they thought of it. Though the comments are usually all good (as I'd expect nothing less), the odd negative ones (usually from random strangers that I creep) annoy the crap out of me. Sure, everywhere has its pros and cons, but I don't see the point in travelling, if you are not going to travel with an open mind. Get off your high horse and do as the Romans do when in Rome. Bam, guaranteed good time.

Sure, we may not be the cleanest, most organised or the easiest to talk to. No country is perfect, and thats what gives it character. I'm obviously not going to try and change to opinions of every tourist who has visited this country cause the haters are gonna hate. Nonetheless, I'm excited for all the upcoming visitors and can't wait to show them what our beautiful country has to offer.

Now all I need is to drag my Saywell girls down here, I know they'd have an amazing time. :)

p/s: It's great to be home. Oh how I've missed you so. <3

you think I'm fly, don't you;

Oh yeah, cause I'm all about school swag.

In addition to having exams and am looking for every and any distraction. :)

(tee product of mightyclothing.ca)

yes I made you, believe that I would be the one to heal you;

So here we are again, end of another school year. Halfway to my degree. That's so hard to believe. Just yesterday my sister was starting her first year, and I was thinking it was such a big deal, which it was. And now she's graduating! It's all so exciting and scary and I'm just grasping that it's all really happening.

Exams have arrived, and I really need to buckle down and get the work done. Half my grade right here and now. I can make or break it. And I refuse to ruin my grades. I have my internship lined up for me, and recruitment for next summer starts in August. I don't need anymore bad grades. My little journey down the accounting road is starting. I think I'm ready. Mostly I'm just really excited for the summer. Yes I know it'll be lots of work, sure they make you work ridiculous hours and don't take you to freaking Disneyland at the end of the internship period. But you know what, if I survive this, and enjoy it, I know I'm making the right choice. And I'll be ready for whatever it is they'll throw at me next year. Plus the idea of accomplishing something by the end of the summer, that's pretty darn awesome. Like I said, I'm excited. :)

This weekend has been the April Fools joke from hell in the Saywell residence. Nope, April Fools isn't just one day, its only begun. :/ On a different note, I'm so thankful for the girls and my house this year and am glad to be able to come back to it in the fall. Though we all started out unexpectedly and just sort of happened. It was the best decision of our lives. Everyone's so different and yet we get along like sisters. We've met tons of people and built new friendships that would have otherwise never happened. So yes, despite our ups and downs, it's only brought us closer. :) <3

where's that spark that used to light my everyday?

i miss my best friends;

I miss the two girls that I could spend days on end with. Doing everything and yet nothing at the same time. Having the least girly-ish sleepovers ever, eating as much food as we could stuff into our mouths. Talking about everything, having little dance parties, reminiscing over everything else we've done in our gabajillion years being friends, knowing that there's a gabajillion more to come.
i miss you both. <3

outta hurrrr;

Next Thursday can't come soon enough. I'm excited to take a break from all of this.